By Alexis Meads

One of the main reasons it can be so hard to get over a breakup is that we’re not seeing the reality of it. Chances are you’re remembering the best moments. The first kiss. How they looked at your in that certain way. How in love you were with them.

I’ve been there.

Dumped by someone and struggling to get over it. Thinking it was the best thing that ever happened to me and got away. You might even find yourself years down the road, in a new relationship, still looking back on an ex through rose-colored glasses. The thing is, if the relationship ended, there’s a reason it ended.

I invite you to ditch those rose-colored glasses and think of the other times instead.

What about all those times that you didn’t feel happy? Maybe you felt insecure in the relationship? Maybe the other person was emotionally unavailable but you refused to see it? Maybe what seemed like spontaneous and fun was really flaky and unreliable?

Was this person really the end all be all? Or is looking at it this way only keeping you stuck in emotional pain?

Move through your pain by seeing the relationship for all it was. The good times and the bad. Celebrate the good times, but also realize that there is a reason it didn’t work out and if that’s the case than it wasn’t meant to be. Then use it as fuel for growth.

What were the things you didn’t like about the relationship? In what ways were you treated that didn’t feel good to you? What behaviors did you do that you didn’t like? How could you have treated the other person differently?

The good news is that you just had one of the most powerful learning experiences available to us as humans. Relationships are a vehicle for growth and pain can be one of the biggest motivators. Turn it into something beautiful by learning and growing from it. You’ll attract a relationship to you that’s even better, and when you do, you’ll have the opportunity to bring your best self to the table.



Alexis Meads Alexis Meads got her Masters at Harvard University where she found her passion in helping others. She is a Certified Life and Wellness Coach, the founder of ( and creator of The Crazy Wild Love Academy (link to

A self-proclaimed Self-Love Maven, Alexis shows women how to create a mind-blowing relationship, amazing body and super fun life. Click here to get your free copy of her Self-Love Manifesto