Alexis Meads is a life coach and an expert in relationships and building confidence. She shares her story of how she struggled with confidence and made changes in her life to live and enjoy her life with confidence, self-love and finally meet her husband.
As a child, Alexis says she was a perfectly happy child but during her middle school and high school years, she was a shy kid, did not have many friends and was not popular at all. She was always nervous that people would not like her; she had low self-esteem and was always fearful what others would think about her. Alexis thinks the biggest reason most of us lack confidence is that we are always interested in knowing what others think about us. Alexis first dated in college and that was the first time Alexis felt confident in a long time and realized others perceive her. This feeling of validation only propelled Alexis to seek more and she started dating other people and partied hard so others could recognize and validate her. Alexis thinks once you get attached to that desire of being validated by others, you never stop doing things to become the center of attention.
How did you manage to stop trying to seek validation from people and validate from the inside?
Back then, Alexis had this idea that there would be bigger and better things for her so she broke out of that relationship, continued with her partying lifestyle, got a new job. However, soon she felt the job was not meant for her and was not fulfilling her. She would date people and thought if she found the perfect relationship, she might be happy. However, nothing worked for her; nothing was coming together, relationships or her job. As a result, her body grew tired. She would drink excessively and eat all sorts of unhealthy food. That is when she reconnected with an old friend who told her about Wayne Dyer, a renowned motivational speaker. Alexis started listening to Wayne regularly, followed her work and that was the start of her transformation. Alexis says that sometimes in life, we can be super popular, have a great job, are recognized by people but can still feel like there is not enough in life. Alexis knew she had to take a step back, take a break and figure out what she needed to fulfill her purpose. During that time, Alexis stopped dating, enrolled in a graduate program at Harvard University, gave herself and her body proper rest. She started meditating, would sleep properly at night and stopped drinking.
What is your definition of confidence?
Alexis thinks confidence is about doing things that demand for demonstration of one’s courage. She thinks no one is born confident or under confident. It is all about doing actions with courage and reputation and the more you do a particular thing, the more confident you become. She believes courage is not courage if fear was not there. So being confident simply means, doing things by embracing your fear, hence demonstrating your courage and it could be anything from starting your own business or becoming a better public speaker or even going on a date.
What is your definition of Self-love?
Self-love is all about recognizing your existence and how amazing our mind and body works. Usually, we think that it is just about doing actions, which are good for us, like treating our body well, giving yourself time and doing things we love to do. However, it is more than that. Alexis shares story of two of her clients who live a very healthy life, regularly go to gym but recently got very sick and in that sickness they found that extraordinary power of their body to heal. Hence, self-love is not all about doing yoga or meditation, but also realizing how amazing our bodies and minds are.
How did you meet your husband?
Alexis met him after she moved to Portland. She had no job at that time and was dating a person through whom she met her husband. She went out with this person to a concert and met her husband for the first time in that concert. He worked for Nike and Alexis thought it could be great if she could network with this person and maybe find herself a decent job in Nike. Therefore, she exchanged numbers and they started connecting. Alexis felt like he had a different energy than everyone else she ever met. She also thinks there were many incompatible things between them but she could not deny the fact that every time she hung with her she felt like they had a connection. Alexis always had these standards for men she would date, that they had to be 6 feet in height and there should not be a big age difference. None of it was true for her husband who was much older than Alexis and had been married before as well. However, Alexis thinks you start looking at people differently when you develop a bond with them.
What is the best advice you have been given?
Life is not all about information seeking but taking time to realize our feelings as well. She says she likes to learn new things and is a seeker but there is a point where you should take a break, stop seeking and starting realizing. Most important thing is to take time in your life to enjoy the moment you are living in.
How to connect with her?
Her website’s URL is:
You can also find a free 5-step planner on her website for cultivating self-love and inner happiness to help you out in relationships.