Growing up you read fairy tales about Prince Charming. You always dreamed about falling in love and couldn’t wait to ‘live happily ever after….’

The reality is- nobody ever tells you the truth about marriage.

That’s why Ylonda Gault Caviness wrote, “8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage: The surprising, enlightening, and sometimes hard truths we all face after we walk down the aisle — and how they teach us about what love really means.”

Caviness touches on the truth about marriage:

1. “You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?

Some days you’ll think to yourself, this is so not what I signed up for.  No matter how great he is, he won’t make you happy every moment of every day.

2. You’ll work harder than you ever imagined.

The real work of marriage is finding lots of ways to relate and nurture each other.

3. You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder).

Sleep on it.

4. You will go without sex — sometimes for a long time — and that’s okay.

Sexless periods are a natural part of married life. A dry spell just means that maybe this week, sleep is more important than sex. The key is to make sure that even if you’re not doing “it” you’re still doing something-touching, kissing, hugging.

5. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.

When it comes to certain disagreements, there is no right or wrong — there is simply your way of looking at things and his way of looking at things.

6. A great marriage doesn’t mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right.

Fights won’t break your marriage.

7. You’ll realize that you can only change yourself.

Transforming a full-grown man-stripping him of decades of old habits, beliefs, and idiosyncrasies-is truly an impossible task.

8. As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you’re really made of.

You can learn to love your quirks and be compassionate toward yourself, just as you’re learning to do with him.”

Caviness adds, “Marriage is full of hard times and hard lessons that no one can ever prepare you for. But in the end, those are the things that give richness to your life together-and make your love even deeper and stronger than when it began.”

Live happily ever now.