I hope you had a great memorial weekend! I was upstate celebrating a wedding – it was so much fun!

Last time I wrote, I told you how I was being vulnerable and sharing my story about where I was and the shifts I made to get to where I am. If you weren’t able to attend the event, part of my story is about the first 6 years of living in New York. I was struggling to find my direction in life. By the time I was 28, I had 10 different jobs, lived in 8 apartments, went on tons of dates, but had no serious romantic relationship and was almost broke financially. It was tough.

I turned it all around by becoming more conscious of my thought patterns and shifting from a place of living on “auto-pilot” to continuously checking in and asking myself, “What do I want? What can I do to create it?” From there, I began making new decisions that created a different outcome.

I continue this practice and sometimes it’s scary to ask myself what I want because I become aware of things that might require me to make changes. However, I have learned to go for what I want because I know on the other side is an even more exciting life ready for me!

Public speaking was something that was very scary for me.  My heart would race, my stomach would get hot and my voice would shake. It was terrible.

I had the desire to speak publicly even though I was terrified. I worked hard on piecing my story and message together. It was definitely new territory to put myself out there. I finally made the decision I was not going to let fear stop me because ultimately it is a decision to become fearless.

When I was able to see things as a choice, it gave me the freedom to decide what I wanted based on my truth. Yes, I still experienced some nerves speaking at the event, but because I made such a strong decision to stand up to my fear and breakthrough it for the benefit of myself and others, I barley felt afraid. Once again, I was able let go of negative thoughts and connected to shining the light in my heart, and I was able to speak fearlessly. It was transformational.

The number one thing that stops us is FEAR.

If you check in with yourself, the reason you aren’t going for things you want, is because of some fear; wether it is fear of failure, not being good enough, etc., all arrows point back to FEAR.

Almost every time you are afraid, your thoughts are about yourself and a limited view of yourself. When you know you are creating this self sabotaging story, you can change it. New thoughts will definitely lead you to new results.

Every time you do something that scares you, you build confidence in yourself. As Tony Robbins says, “It’s not about achieving goals, it WHO you become along the way.”

I work with a lot of people who are afraid to speak up in many different ways – from public speaking, to speaking up more at work, or in a relationship, to being afraid of change in general. One of the easiest ways to shift your focus from fear to busting through it is to contemplate the BENEFITS you and others will experience {Click to Tweet it!}. Then, it comes down to feeling the fear and doing it anyways!

As long as you live, you will experience fear — but the way you relate to it, changes everything.

Most things we fear stem from our imagination creating a negative outcome (unless there really is a tiger about to eat you, then by all means run!). When you realize that fear is your imagination and you can redirect it, you have the ability to change what you are creating!

So, the next time you feel afraid – instead of listening to that voice in your head that’s on autopilot – stop and check-in. It really is a choice to change the story line you tell yourself and, amazing things can happen!

Ask yourself:

What do I want?
What can I do to create it?
What are the benefits myself and others would experience from busting through my fear?

Share your answers below.

Go consciously in the direction of your dreams!

  • I love this post! Such a great reminder. I will think more about “What do I want” on the airplane today… for some reason that question can easily get so blurry when we are busy. XOX

    • selfinthecity

      Thanks Caroline! It is a difficult question which is one of the many reasons we tend to avoid it. 😉 But we really do have the answer and even if we don’t have the end all be all answer, we have something smaller that we can start to create now. Enjoy!! xoxo

  • J Marie Novak

    Anna — you make some excellent points in this article. I love the 3 questions: 1) What do I want, 2) What can I do to create it, and 3) How would I and others benefit from going after it? You really put things in a wonderful perspective! – Janette

    • selfinthecity

      Thanks Janette! I’m glad you enjoyed it! Taking the time to slow down and check-in with ourselves is so important to living a conscious life! 🙂 xo