By Derneeka Cruse

So, you think you’re in love. What does that really mean anyway?  Love is not what is ordinarily understood by the word, and it definitely isn’t what most people think they have created in their microwave relationships.  Yes, I went there, microwave relationships! You know the ones that start on Saturday nights first date and develop into this [wo]man is my world by Monday morning, yea those.

Lets take a look at what REAL LOVE is for those of you who are interested in building a relationship with a solid foundation.  The kind that will last an eternity and lovingly inspire every person and circumstance it connects with. That is what we all should be working towards, not only in our relationships with others, but in our relationship with ourselves.

             Ordinary Love                vs.                 Real Love
Is just a masquerade; something else is hiding behind it.  It is always looking for something in return or for you to give it something it can’t create naturally on its own. It is selfish. Is honest; what you see is what you get!  There is no need; it is selfless and concerned only with giving unconditionally.
Is demanding, with expectations for what this love is supposed to look like, feel like and act like for the giver and receiver. Is sharing and giving. It only wants to share and give its world of love to you. It says; share my world!
Pretends to be what it either thinks you want it to be or has been programed to believe it should be as opposed to just being what it is! It usually doesn’t even know what it is. Is unpretentious, it simply is.  It doesn’t need to prove itself to be anything for the receiver to feel it.  They just will!
Becomes sickening and annoying after a while because its lack of authenticity begins to surface.  The absence of truth in its words and actions will begin to cause conflict and eventually lead to what many call “falling out of love”. Provides nourishment and strengthens your soul.  Being the receiver of real love can help you grow and raise your level of consciousness. Many people feel this type of love for the first time when they have children.
Feeds your ego, not the real you! Your ego identifies very well with this type of love because it is just as unreal as what your ego has you believing you are.  When you begin to connect with your true authentic self you will not only be able to quickly identify this type of love and give it the finger, but you will also no longer even attract it. Feeds your authentic self.  When you reach the point in your journey when you meet who you really are, this type of love will find its way into your life on its own, with no effort from you. You will feel the difference, and be grateful for all those microwave relationships that gave you ordinary love that never worked out!


If you are in a place where you notice you in an “Ordinary Love” relationship, check-in with yourself and ask yourself deep questions, such as, “Am I truly valuing myself?”

Derneeka Cruse Derneeka Cruse is the founder of where she offers Spirituality and Relationship Coaching, Reiki Healing, Meditation Instruction, and Transformational Travel and Conscious Events Planning Services. Her mission is to assist in raising the level of consciousness amongst her peers in a conscious and cool way.  As she follows her path to enlightenment, You, In Bloom is a platform to share all she learns and help others along with way!